Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science Discovered

This is stolen without the slightest remorse from "The Patriot Post".

Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified with certainty the heaviest element known to science.
The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Happy Valentine's Day

To my Grandchildren: Violet, Sara, Sam, and Tyler. You're a joy to be near and a constant source of amazement.  Continue to grow into the strong, Christian young people who will lead us through this century.

To my Children:  Jon, Gretchen, Sandy, and Bob.  You make me proud to be your father.  You've given me more joy than I could ever imagine, brought new and interesting people into the family, have provided the world's best grandchildren, and keep me from taking root in my den and turning into an old person.

To my Mom:  I love you and miss you a lot.

And finally (recycled from last year, because I can't think of a better way to say it) To Marilyn:

The title of Trisha Yearwood's album, "Heaven, Heartache, and the Power of Love" pretty well sums up the last 40 or so years of my life.

In the fall of 1967, I was attending a small junior college in a smaller town in the Midwest. One of the highlights of life in that town was the annual Fall Festival, a kind of County Fair/Oktoberfest held in September when the weather was still decent enough to be on the street without a parka after dark. Since there was a) little traffic, and b) no place to set up a midway, the main street of the town was blocked off and sprouted carnival rides, food vendors, craft displays, and a stage for the country music performers.

My roommate and I decided that, being Friday, and seeing that we were tired of watching mildew grow on the grout in the dormitory bathroom, we would see what was happening downtown (a 3 minute walk from the dorm). (I told you it was a small town). We wandered around for a while, and he met up with a girl he knew. Marilyn was with her, and was the most beautiful young woman I had ever seen. The fact that she found the skinny, bespectacled, nerd that I was (and probably still am) interesting was icing on the cake. I was immediately smitten. I still am, and always will be.

So, you see, Marilyn and I are probably the only people you will ever meet who can say that they ran into the love of their life in the middle of Main Street...on foot. :)

Nearly 43 years have passed, filled with triumphs, tragedies, gains, losses, children and grandchildren. Every event has been a blessing that has caused us to grow, but the one constant has been Marilyn and our love for each other. I don't want to contemplate life without her. This Summer, we will celebrate our 41st anniversary, and I'm planning on at least 20 more.

Marilyn, I love you, and always will. You make life worth living.

Bob